Most of the time these days when I complain about something in Star Wars it centers on the sequel trilogy. Especially Episode 8, where Rian Johnson gleefully tore apart the setting like it was his job. Oof, I have to be careful not to start ranting about how much Episode 8 sucks again. No, this time I'm going to point a finger back at George Lucas for messing up the prequels. And I think I might have a new angle to complain about them from.
I'll start with the old angles. Lucas wanted the movies to be children's movies, so he made them revolve around convoluted political plots, which is a good start. The political plots not making any sense is another. The waste of time meeting Anakin as a child instead of as a functioning adult who was a great pilot and a cunning warrior. The stupid romance between Anakin and Padme that made zero sense (especially that stupid scene in the field with the cow creatures). The 417 minute lightsaber fight swinging on ropes over lava that SHOULD have been one of the most emotionally engaging scenes in the entire setting. The strange use of Jedi as generals in a military (aren't they supposed to be mystic monks closer to diplomats than military commanders? Why are jedi government agents?). The odd moment where Darth Sidious decides his apprentice should attack the jedi for no gain, but losing any secrecy he had. The useless character of Qui Gon Jinn who is supposed to be the maverick that is a better example of what a jedi should be, but who is totally comfortable with using his power to cheat and steal. The pointless waste of time with the pod races (seriously... we only get a small number of the numbered episodes of Star Wars and this is what we wasted it on?). The hard to believe motivation for Anakin falling to the dark side (he slaughtered children because he was too scared to ask for help to save Padme directly).
I'll stop there.
One of my previous complaints that I have seen only hints to in other places is the fact that what Lucas gave us for something called the Clone Wars wouldn't really have been called the Clone Wars. It could as easily have been called the Droid Wars. Each of those two names would suggest the war was about that thing though. And what we got would probably best be described as the Separatist War because it seems to have been about some star systems trying to separate from the Galactic Republic. My complaint is that Lucas should have come up with something about the concept of cloning and its use. It could easily have been that Separatist systems had economies dependent on clone labor force, and the Galactic Republic was finally getting around to considering it immoral... so you end up with a war about the use of clones. That would have made sense to me. And it leads to my new thought about how Lucas failed with the prequels.
Clones are living beings with feelings who can be hurt and killed. They are bred, genetically altered, and indoctrinated from birth to be willing servants. They are created and never given a choice. They are slaves. And the clone troopers given to us in the prequel trilogy are slaves expected to risk their lives and casually die with little effort to protect them.
Why would the jedi accept that? Aren't the jedi the good guys? Sure, Lucas says they're supposed to remain emotionally detached, but using slave soldiers is outright evil. Lucas just skipped over the part where someone told the jedi that they'd be commanding slave soldiers in battle. They were already made by request of some now gone jedi years ago? Oh it must be okay. And since they're here, we might as well use them. What kind of stupid thing is that? I get that the Jedi were getting complacent and losing their edge with the apparent disappearance of the Sith... but... this one seems so simple.
If you combine my desire for something called the Clone Wars to make sense, and the idea that jedi SHOULDN'T use slaves, there's actually a really good path Lucas could have taken. Do as I said with respect to making the political situation be that many systems rely on slave clones for labor (as teachers, medics, maids, child care, waiters, cooks, and anything that people enjoy a living interaction for instead of a droid). More enlightened people come to enough power to challenge that institution, and you have your political tension. Separatist worlds try to leave the Republic before they are forced to find a new way and under guidance of a particular sith lord, they build an army of clones.
This is a perfect fighting force for the separatists. It uses a resource they have a ready ability to produce and it forces the Galactic Republic to fight and kill the people they're trying to save. I think that's clever.
The Galactic Republic doesn't have a standing military big enough for an interstellar civil war, so it begins cranking out non-sentient droid soldiers. Military units are reinforced with them and the Jedi are asked to help on missions or big battles where their power with the Force can make a big difference. We can get the idea that monks with power aren't automatically military trained and capable, which was a weird leap in the prequels. And we get to see scenes where the jedi watch as unfeeling machines kill the poor clones forced into a life of servitude and death.
At this point I'm thinking about how Anakin's fall to the dark side has to be a different story. I want to make Padme into a Force-sensitive pilot (who never got training with the Force) for Senator Bail Organa, and that's how Anakin ends up meeting her. She's an incredible pilot who seems able to pull the senator out of some pretty scary situations with her benefits from being Force-sensitive (lightning reflexes and intuition). I'm playing up the relationship there because it explain far better why Bail would be interested in helping Padme's children later.
Padme and Anakin meet and have their relationship develop. Anakin continues to serve in the war with the jedi, but it's becoming clear he's not great at controlling his anger. He even benefits from using it and Obi-Wan and Padme both start to recognize the danger. Padme is pregnant and she's pulling away from Anakin, which makes him more angry. During this time, Sidious has heard of Anakin and is orchestrating situations where Anakin has to fight especially hard to save his comrades and/or himself to give him plenty of experience using his anger. And then Sidious sets up a meeting with Anakin where he offers to teach Anakin how to use that great power. Maybe Sidious even gives Anakin dreams about losing his comrades and Padme. And he feels like he's losing them already so the dreams just bolster the effect.
At this point, Anakin (and everyone else really) doesn't know that Sidious has been helping and guiding the separatists. He just knows that Sidious is supposedly a bad guy because he's a Sith, but so far has only had an offer of help from him. Anakin keeps it to himself because he wants to decide for himself, knowing that the Jedi would go after him. And his turn to the dark side becomes about feeling like the jedi are trying to limit him and like Sidious is supporting him. At this point Padme is pretty distanced from Anakin and Anakin is angry.
Anakin's duties keep him away from Padme and he finds himself increasingly asking Sidious for advice. He wants power enough to end the war and convince Padme she should stay with him. Enough time passes that Padme gives birth. Obi-Wan is there. No stupid death by sadness for Padme. And Leia's line about remembering a bit about her real mother can make sense. Anakin tries to visit what he thinks is his only child, and Padme stops him saying he has to go fix some things before he can participate in this relationship. He nearly loses it and Obi-Wan has to step in to prevent him from doing damage. Anakin makes wrong conclusions about what's going on and swears he'll return to get his child. Says he can sense his son already and that his son is strong in the Force. Then he leaves and heads straight for Sidious where his dark path continues. This is all during maybe episode 2.
Realizing that the Padme and the kids aren't safe there, they put her in hiding, but Anakin finds them again citing that he can sense his son. It leads to the point where the Jedi advise Padme to let them take Luke far away to be raised by his Uncle and Aunt on Tatooine... the Jedi believe Anakin's past there will hide Luke effectively. Padme of course says she'll just move there too, but the Jedi warn about just how much that protection might be able to hide.
Padme stays working for Senator Organa, and Leia lives at the Organa household since Padme is so close to the family. Leia is super young when her mom dies (possibly at the hands of Anakin who has come to find his son and who is told that the Jedi took him to hide him). Anakin doesn't know Leia is his daughter and the Organa family adopts her and gets the papers doctored to suggest she's been their kid all along.
Obi-Wan keep vigil over Luke; the Organas raise Leia; and the original trilogy is set up with clone wars that make sense.
