Monday, August 20, 2012

My grandfather's passing


My grandfather died on 11 June 2012.  His name is Michael Tipa, and apparently he is fairly well known in some circles.  I wasn't aware of how widely known he was in organizations like the olympic games commitees, the NRA, and the International Shooting Sport Federation (which I'd never heard of before my grandfather passed).  My grandfather was also a lieutenant colonel in the army.  He apparently did a lot with his life, and much of it I wasn't terribly familiar with.

That brings me to what I am familiar with.  He did all sorts of impressive things, and I learned he was important as a mentor to a fair number of people, but to me, he only played the role of grandfather.  I find it unfortunate now that I grew up so far away from my grandparents.  It resulted in me not being as close as I'd like, but I do have a fair number of memories of him.  To me he was always soft spoken and ready to smile or laugh.  He was relaxed and easy to be around.  In my mid twenties I was employed full time, and looking to buy a home... my grandparents both offered to help with it.  That might not convey what I'm trying for by itself, so I'll try to explain what that meant to me.  Without their help, I couldn't have made the downpayment... I wouldn't likely have had enough money on my own to buy the home.  I would have had to move in with my parents.  I love my parents, but I want my own space.  My grandparents helped me have that, and it meant a lot to me.  It also reinforced the thought in me that my grandparents were generous people who care about me.

My grandfather was family.

I travelled to attend my grandfather's funeral service on 17 August 2012.  It was nice service.  The part that got to me the most was the part of the military service where they play Taps.  I know that many people are emotionally affected by that song, and of course the setting is conducive to the emotional reaction, but as a point of interest: I'm curious about why it has the strong effect that it does.  But back to the topic at hand, I sat in that little chapel with family and friends, I learned things about him that I didn't know, and I felt some of the sense of loss I felt those months ago when he passed.

But honestly, I had already processed the loss.  The service felt a little more like a tribute than an event that might help me deal with the loss.  And that's actually a good thing in my mind.  When the family and friends left the service to spend some more time together afterward, the mood was good.  And this is when we get to what that day really meant to me...

My grandfather brought family together.

I hadn't seen some of my family in 20 years.  And together we ate, talked, laughed, drank, and I felt... happy.  In a life filled with responsibility (as are most I would imagine), it felt good to relax with family; to tell and hear stories; to share a drink or two; to feel like I am part of something that accepts me and enjoys my company; and though the passing of my grandfather is a sorrowful loss, he gave us the excuse we needed to come together for the first time in decades.  I think he would like knowing how well we still enjoy each other's company.  I'll miss him, but I'm also grateful to him for the gifts he's given.  I'm grateful for the family we are part of.

Good bye grandpa, and thank you.