Did I meet someone? Really?

Today is Wednesday. Last Saturday I met a girl. And I'm crazy about her. I'm not sure I've ever really meant "crazy" literally though. I find it a little scary how much I like her after knowing only a few days, and only a few hours in person. Let me tell you a story. Don't worry... it's only a few days... how long a story can it be?

It starts with a little background. I think I have a sinus infection. The most prominent symptom has been the sinus pressure and therefore the headaches. I missed work two days last week for this, and I have a doctor's appointment to check it out coming up. So I've been dealing with this headache that waxes and wanes for about a week now.

Saturday was no different, except that I needed to be okay so I could go to a wedding for a close friend of mine. Before I even left for the wedding (it was at 10:30 AM) I had my triple dose of "vitamin I" (Ibuprofen for the uninitiated). So as you can probably imagine I wasn't in the most cheery of moods. Part way through the wedding, I took a fourth dose. I was smart and brought a bottle of the ibuprofen with me. Of course, some of you may know that the bottle for ibuprofen tells you to not take more than 4 doses a day. I was at 4 doses by noon. And yes... I had to take a 5th dose before the end of the reception.

Because of my rough state, and my track record for not meeting people even in the most favorable of circumstances, I assumed I wasn't going to meet anyone at this wedding either. But there was one girl there... she caught my eye. Of course, if you don't know me (and are for some reason reading this blog), I am shy. Stupidly so. Even when I manage to overcome it, I tend to falter, and nothing intelligible comes out of my mouth, so I tend to just sit there and do nothing. Which is exactly what I did. But my friends at the wedding had other plans.

When the last dance rolled around, the bride demanded that everyone get up to dance... it was a paired dance... so I was going to ignore her. But she pointed me out and paired me off with this girl I had noticed. So we danced the last dance together. I didn't even know her name at the time. And I was nervous as hell. As a side note: I hate that I get so nervous. It's irrational. You could possibly classify it as a phobia.

Last dance ended, the reception was over, and there was an after party to go to. A good sized group of us (15 or 16 people I think) went into Boston to Dick's Last Resort. The guys all had tuxedo shirts on, the women had their dresses on, and the bride had her wedding dress on. It was pretty awesome how much attention you can get by wandering around Boston in a wedding dress, though I think it would probably work differently if I tried that.

Anyway, it was loud in there, and shouting was the only way to be heard. I have damn good hearing, but I don't pick out words as well as I pick out the simple presence of sound. So I'm not a fan of these loud places where you can't really talk to people. This girl who's name I still didn't know was sitting almost across the table from me. I think we shouted a little... you know... in a nice way... but it wasn't much real communication.

After Dick's Last Resort we went to a place called "The Hong Kong". Since the place is a dive, I'll assume no one knows what it is. It's a bar with a dance floor, and collection of the most frightening guys I've ever seen. They had nice shirts on, styled hair, an air of confidence, and stares that would make me uncomfortable if I had been one of the girls there. These guys did not strike me as the kind of guys I'd enjoy having a conversation with. They were like vultures. They were circling. It was creepy.

But I'm off topic. Anyway... I was dragged onto the dance floor again. I'm not a huge fan of getting on a dance floor. I don't think I'm good at dancing, and I've already mentioned the shyness thing. Put me in front of a computer, and I'm as comfortable as can be. Put me in front of people and make me do something I think I'm not good at... well... I get nervous.

But the girl (who's name I still didn't know)... danced with me. Now the group was all on the dance floor. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, and the ladies were dancing up a storm... they were really impressive, and I mean that in terms of skill level. They really seemed to have a knack for dancing.

Now I have to clarify something else about myself. I'm shy AND oblivious. I don't notice when women show interest in me. At least, this is what my friends tell me. I think they're making it up, but that's another topic. Assuming they're right, and I really am bad at noticing when women are interested, I wouldn't normally notice what was happening on that dance floor. The girl (I'll tell you her name at the point in the story where I learned it) was dancing with me in ways that figuratively knocked my socks off. She was amazing. It stunned me. And I found myself wanting more and more to be close to her. Even through my hazy awareness of social reality, I came to believe she might actually be interested in me. And I was real happy about that.

The night wore on, and eventually it was time to go. We all headed outside into the chilly night, and stood around trying to recover our hearing (it was really loud in that club). And for the first time that night I saw something that hurt my interest in her. She smoked a cigarette. I am not a fan of smoking as you may know if you read that earlier post of mine in this blog about smoking. And normally if I see a girl smoke, it's an immediate deal breaker. I completely lose interest. At that point in the evening, I just walked away and talked to someone else in the group. I didn't want to smell or breathe in the smoke. But somehow... I didn't lose interest. I still can't explain it, but I was still interested in her.

At some point in the evening I found out that she would be leaving the next day to go back home. And it was some place far away. So my hope was hit pretty hard at that piece of information. It meant she'd be far away, and even if we got along great that night, she'd be far away, and there would be no chance for us to spend any more time together. When the evening was over, and everyone was heading home, I figured it would just end up being a memory for me. Something to look back on and wonder about. I was sad, but not surprised considering my luck.

My memory of the rest of the evening is a little hazy. I had had a few drinks over the course of the roughly 12 hours, but I think my memory is hazy because I was just tired at this point. I think the bride and groom approached me after the girl separated from the rest of the group to head to where she was staying. The bride and groom informed me that she had liked me. And this was the moment I found out her name. They told me Tricia was interested, and I remember my response being something along the lines of: "oh so that was her name..."

When I got home an hour later, the groom asked if it would be okay to share my phone number with Tricia. Tricia asked the bride for it. I eagerly said yes, though I have to admit I was wondering if that meant I was getting a phone call at 1AM. That's what time it was. But it wasn't a phone call... it was a text message. And we started texting back and forth... until about 2:30. I think it was then that I found out she has a 9 month old daughter.

She smoked. She lives 600+ miles away. And she has a daughter. I think it was during that text conversation that I found out she's in the military too. She's served two tours, and is going back for another. Don't get me wrong. I highly respect the military. But this would be one more thing that's keeping us from spending time together.

Normally, a guy meeting a girl with a kid already... well... that's a big important thing and it does require some thought. I'll get back to this point later in this hugely long blog.

Even with all the obstacles and the important topics to consider, I knew I really liked her. It was crazy how much. But I was steeling myself for the probability that nothing would come of it. There were just so many obstacles.

The next morning (and I woke up at 6:00AM despite my best effort to go back to sleep) I got a text message from Tricia. She asked me to go see her off. This would be a 40 mile drive, and the time she gave me lead me to think I might not make it... and the bad part about this is that I was rationalizing it in my head. I was convincing myself to not even try to make it. And then it hit me. That's how I live my life. I never take chances, and I live in my comfort zone. Motivating me to leave my comfort zone is a difficult thing. But in this case... I knew I wanted to see her again... and I knew it might be my last chance. I hopped in my car and I drove. I sped. I actually got out of my own way and drove. Maybe it doesn't seem like much to a reader of this post, but to me... it was an important moment in my life. It was a moment where I finally fought through one of my weaknesses... I won. And I was doing it because of this wonderful girl I had met.

And in case I somehow managed to create tension... to make you wonder if I made it or not... She was running late, and needed to get a meal anyway. So we ate at the Cheesecake Factory in Burlington. Unfortunately, since I had gotten up so early, I had already eaten a big meal... so I feel guilty, but I didn't eat much at the CF. I think I still have the leftovers in my fridge from there. Anyway, we got to eat a meal together, and it was probably the first period of time where we could talk that wasn't full of ambient deafening sound. It was really nice, and I was excited to have had the chance to spend more time with her.

I guess I should mention that she and her friend were both there. Tricia was giving her friend a ride to the airport, and then Tricia was going to be driving home... From Massachusetts to Ohio. Just so I'm not being a jerk by leaving her out entirely... her friend is a really good person. Great stories, very friendly, and she made it easy for me to feel comfortable.

So Tricia was facing an 11 hour drive. Alone. Now I'm not a fan of driving at all. I complain about my 30 mile commute to work. And driving for that long (600+ miles) alone is not something I'd be happy about. She called me near the beginning of her drive, and we talked. I'm not even sure I can recall everything we talked about it. Aside from a pause to eat dinner, we talked for her entire trip.

Something else you might need to know about me to appreciate this part of the story: I hate talking on the phone. Hate it. When people call me for a reason other than making plans and that take longer than 2 minutes... I start trying to find excuses to get off the phone. I don't want to converse on the phone. It's a compulsion. And if I can avoid it I won't talk to strangers on the phone. Calling a doctor's office to make an appointment is unpleasant to me. Telemarketers annoy me greatly. There are exceptions. My brother being half way around the world... I'm willing to talk to him on the phone for as long as he likes. Just an example, and as you can have already read, I talked to Tricia for probably 8 or 9 hours that day... and by "that day" I mean last Sunday. "That day" makes it sound like it was years ago.

I'll admit that part of my motivation was because I was worried about her. I didn't want her falling asleep on the road. But the idea that I would be capable of participating in a 9 hour conversation with someone I just met over the phone is mind boggling to me. I must really like this girl.

And now I'm back at work... and we have been keeping in touch with email, texts, and phone. I've talked about buying her a plane ticket to come visit with her daughter so I can meet her too. I've talked with friends about this... wondering what's going on because honestly, I'm a little scared and confused. How can I have such strong feelings for someone I met four days ago? Am I ready to take something like this seriously enough to take on the responsibility of helping to care for a child? How do I be part of a relationship when we're so far apart? What happens when she gets deployed again? Should I try to get her to move in with me? How did I go from being hopelessly single to wondering these things in a weekend?

Here's another tidbit about me. I tend to analyze everything. I think things through so much that it's often detrimental to me. So I've been thinking about her pretty much non-stop since we danced at that little club called the Hong Kong. I'm worried that I might mess something up because I'm trying to apply logic to a feeling.

So that's where I am. I know I like her a lot. Some of the similarities between us are just too good to be true for me. I'd go into some of them now, but this post is getting real long. Just trust that some of the things she's said have surprised me in very good ways. And I'll leave it to you readers to wonder what might happen. It's still really early. And I don't know what might happen either. But I know right now as I type this that I hope she and her daughter will be part of my life. I hope I'm ready, and I hope I don't mess anything up.